Kids Have Sex

Did you know the average age for kids to start having sex now is 12? Twelve. TWELVE YEARS OLD.

On our last day of English Comp, we discussed what we learned while researching the topics we chose for a research paper we never did. Confused? Ms. A liked to get us involved in what we were doing. This assignment was all about the process and what we would learn about ourselves during our research.

One guy chose to research sex education in schools. Ooofah! During the discussion, I of course told the story about how when I was 16 and my parents figured out I was having sex, they grounded me for two weeks. And then my mom decided that was the time to have "The TALK". Yes, really. Yes, I'm serious. My mother sat across from me in a recliner in my room and told me she didn't know why I was having sex because it was painful and not enjoyable. I guess she forgot that I was already having sex so if it wasn't enjoyable I would have figured that out for myself. Oy. That talk still haunts me. It's sad. She went a LONG time not enjoying sex. The woman was married twice. She had boyfriends in between. Sad. Shame on her for not thinking she had a right to enjoy it.

I remember making the decision to have the sex. I was curious (duh) and wanted to know what all the fuss was about. Hell, I had been curious and dying to try it since I was about 11. At 16, I was dating someone who I suspected wouldn't be great at it, but that didn't matter. I trusted him and we had been together for a long time (in teenager time). I was ready. Haha! I actually was. You know, because I was very advanced for my age and shit. Psssh. No, I was just sick of waiting. I tried to be "a good girl" and wait until I was older, but what was the point?

Well, now I have a teenager. A teenage boy. Since the day they were born, I've told my boys that girls are bad. Why? Because 99% of girls have the ability to get pregnant and 99% of boys have the ability to make them that way. Not good odds. I don't want my kids, or any kids, for that matter, having to deal with teen pregnancy or *shudder* STD's. Can I stop them from having sex? Not if they're hell-bent on doing it. Have I made sure the lines of communication are open in case they want to talk about it? *gulp* Yes. As uncomfortable as it is, yes. Because if they mess up, then I want them to come to me so we can work things out together. No child should be put in the position to make decisions like that on their own.

They also should not, at 14 years old, be forced to have a baby. Mistakes happen. If you don't talk to your kids about sex, if you don't let them know they can talk to you, if you act like sex is a vile act meant only for the purpose of making babies, guess what? You're screwing up. And if you don't support sex education in schools that teach safe sex and not just abstinence, you're not helping anyone. You're also not realistic or you live under a rock. In which case, I'd be interested to know why you decided to send your kids to public school in the first place.

The teenager has a close friend who is pregnant. She is 14 fucking years old. FOURTEEN! And her super conservative parents are making her keep the baby. Not just not letting her get an abortion. They are going to make her keep the baby and raise it. At 14. I've never understood that "You've made your bed now lie in it" mentality surrounding teen pregnancy. It's no secret I'm super pro-choice, even if you're 14. How is this girl going to handle this baby? She will not have any control over raising her baby. Her family is going to tell her what to do and how to do it. They are risking putting her back into that scary place she was in a year ago when she wanted to kill herself. This girl has been through enough at the hands of her family. And now, because accidents happen, she has to be a mom. This makes me horribly sad.

When will we ever learn?