That's my oldest son, Chandler, holding the guitar. He has 3 guitars, but this Gibson SG is his favorite. I took this picture one night last summer while hanging out and talking with him in his room. I'm trying to remember what he looked like then. If you have kids, you know what I'm talking about.
They're born these awesome little beings. Sometimes they come into this world early or late, tiny or chubby. Chandler arrived 2 weeks early and average-sized. When women tell you, "You'll forget all about the pain after you see the baby", they're lying. Big time. I remember all the pain. All 26 hours of it. I remember how he scared the crap out of us because the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and the monitor would stop picking up his heartbeat with every contraction. But once he finally arrived, I was pretty sure I had just given birth to the cutest baby in the whole world. I know I had a million plans for him, but for the life of me I can't remember what they were. All of those plans were wiped out when I finally saw his face.
I look at this kid now, a man in the making, and feel a mixture of pride and anxiety. I'm so proud of the teenager he's turning into. Like any teen, he makes questionable decisions, mouths off and sulks. On the whole, though, he's a pretty amazing kid to me. He's a pretty darn good guitar player and is mostly self-taught. He's considerate of others as long as they're not his little brother. He conforms just enough to make him feel comfortable, but has managed to find his own groove and place in his group of buddies. He's smart, too, but he tries to hide that from everyone. No joke, parent teacher conferences for this kid are a breeze and consist mainly of the teachers telling me how smart and quiet he is.
My tiny little baby is now 5'7", 130-ish pounds and his tiny little voice is changing. His hair is almost as long as mine and he straightens it because he can't stand the way it curls up at the ends. He doesn't need me to wash his little face, teach him to walk or get him a glass for milk anymore. I guide him the best I can and listen to his thoughts and music at every opportunity he gives me.
With lack of better than cliche thinking, they do grow so fast. Like you, I did not forget the pain. It does not seem to go away in some respect...I find the pain returning when my children and hurting and when they are fearing. But, pain or no pain, we step back and watch them succeed, watch them fail and watch them grow. It is a mothering thing to look back in order to make us strong enough to look forward. Nice post. ~Ms. A.
ReplyDeleteI shared this post with him and he thought it was pretty neat. He copied and pasted it into the Notepad app on his iPod.
ReplyDeleteOf course, what left the biggest impact on him? "I almost died? How cool!"